Covets Aplenty

Have you ever attempted to significantly simplify in your life? It is a time you reflect on the really important things. Maybe you cut back on spending money – make your coffee instead of buying it every morning. You may have tried to simplify by purging stuff – cleaning out closets and the garage to create visual space and focus less on things and more on relationships. There are many ways to simplify one’s life. Say no to a busy schedule, say yes to a walk instead of the TV. Simplifying life can mean that you just shut off all the noise and media, and sit in silence for a certain amount of time every day/week.

At times when I have really tried to simplify my life by de-cluttering the budget, the closets, the schedules, I have found that an annoying amount of discouragement comes my way. How about you? When money is low and you’re trying to cut your grocery bill, you see your friends on an expensive vacation, relaxing and having an awesome time. When your house is a mess and you need to purge, you notice all the backgrounds in photos on social media – people smiling in their clean homes with their clean pets, wearing their pristine white socks.

What I am getting at here is that there is discouragement (and fear) at everyone’s door when they try to make improvements in their lives. Seems the horned man in red with a pitchfork likes clutter and dislikes self-improvements; imagine that.

Have you ever thought about that commandment, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s “things”? Along life’s path, I have grown to find out what it is like to genuinely be happy for someone when they have more, do more, see more than me. Genuinely! This is how I now feel 99% of the time. If I were to be completely realistic about my attitude, 1% of the time that I see something great unfold for someone, it stabs me in the heart a little, usually if it is directly related to things I perceive I need. Of course happiness for the individual follows. My response internally though can be a little numbing. In that moment I am so happy for them and truly happy where I am. I understand their circumstances will never be meant for me, but the small sting when it’s a matter of the heart is something you can’t prevent 100% of the time. I used to “covet my neighbor” a lot! I have simplified though, and in that simplifying process I have let go of my own expectations for what my life should look like, and the judgment regarding what others lives should look like. That did not come without first being extremely insecure and discouraged.

Did you know we have a tendency to covet each others pain too? I know, that sounds nuts. I will explain. By wanting what someone else has, you also are wishing to have the pain that comes with some of those things. Maybe you lost a parent and all you want is to have them back for one more Christmas. Someone else is entirely surrounded by family on the holidays, and it stings when you see it. You may have the physical pain of missing your loved one, yet you know they are waiting in heaven for you, but that other person is surrounded by family they will only see on earth, because their eternity is not safe. You do not want their circumstances…that life, that pain. There may be a lack of money in your life, but there may be good people in it. For those with lots of money, how many times have we heard they feel something is missing, or they feel empty? Do you really covet their financial state? Would you if it came with their pain?

So, what do you do with all this discouragement and coveting? You share your pain and your struggles. You show people that whatever they may see in you that makes you appear like you have your stuff together is accompanied by a struggle on another side. As long as you can find something in your life that is going right, you can convince yourself that you don’t need someone else’s set of circumstances to make up for what isn’t going right.

Side note, did you know the “do not covet thy neighbor’s things” commandment is the last one (#10 of 10)? Need a refresher on all 10? They can be found in Exodus 20…or Deuteronomy 5…whatever you end up in.

Exodus 20 New International Version (NIV)

The Ten Commandments

20 And God spoke all these words: